Where did it all go wrong Will thought, falling to his knees with the letter pressed to his chest.Īfter a bit of Will’s absence, Boris decided to stand up. Just an hour ago he was so deeply in love with Boris, just a few minutes ago they were happy, making out, being vulnerable with each other. Maybe it was the alcohol that came over him, but Will grabbed one of the pill bottles, took a few capsules out, and swallowed them. He looked at the photo once again, he had similar features to Theo, although the photo was small and pixelated, with the dirty blond hair, the similar face shape, and smile, Will could not help but see Theo in himself. Will’s hold on the paper made it wrinkle more than it already did. Will was hyperventilating at this point, he felt so lost, he felt worthless, like he was a replacement for Theo. He did not know why this bothered him so much. Will's jaw clenched harder than he intended. The letter had a picture with who he assumed was Theo next to the antique Boris owned. It seems like it was a reply to a previous letter, Will assumed they have exchanged a few papers before this one, the final one. There was more to the letter, but Will either could not make out the words, or he read too fast to comprehend them. I love you, more than anyone can love anything. We cannot make things right again, and I regret so many things I did, I want to say it was not your fault, but that wouldn't be the truth. Please, do not return this back, do not try to find the address or the store it came from. I don't care that you were scared, you promised. I wanted it to be a see you soon kiss.Īnd I was right, you never showed up. What happened that night was not a mistake, I miss you and I wish I could have returned the kiss, but it felt too much like a goodbye kiss and I did not want to say goodbye, Boris. But to put it simply, you ruined it, you fucking ruined it. I loved you, I truly did, and I wanted to continue to be next to you for the rest of my life. He picked up some individual words,įrom what Will could read, the letter read: Will could barely read, his blurry vision and bathroom lighting did not help. As he straightened the letter, more messy writing flashed before him. Will opened the letter, he knew he shouldn't have, and he tried to hold himself back, but something possessed him to do so. A few corners looked like they had water damage, implying this letter had been cried upon. He moved some of the bottles around just to discover a rolled up, wrinkled paper with “for Boris” in a large messy font. Will shook his head, blurry tears made looking for a band-aid much more challenging than it really is. Did Boris lie to him? About a year ago Boris promised Will he will stay away from drugs after Will found him laying unconscious with a pill container placed next to him. They were unlabeled, giving them away as drugs. He opened the cabinets just to discover pills. He frustratedly sighed and looked for a band-aid. He trailed the teeth marks up, to see them gracefully placed on his neck and jaw.ĭid he do this to Theo too? Will thought to himself, anger filling the air. He looked up just to see the stretched shirt and Boris’s teeth marks framed with his blood. He splashed water onto his face and leaned on the sink. Will wiped his tears away, then stood up to stare at his reflection. They had never gotten into a big argument, so he acted as he did with Theo. The time being separated helped Will get over him, he misses him less, or that's what he wants to believe, but his stupid, stupid name always finds a way into Will’s journal.īoris did what he knew best in those situations, he gave Will space. So, he hasn't actually had a conversation with him in two years, no big deal. He knows that might be a dick move, but after the confession, after getting no response, after being left alone in the dark, he couldn't face Mike. When he comes to visit Will usually goes to Boris’s place. Mike still sends letters to El sometimes, and he comes to visit occasionally. He hated himself, he was never enough for anyone. This made him sob harder, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but he could feel his whole body jerk with each sob. Will tried to close his eyes and calm down, but every time he did so, he would hear Boris's voice. He leaned against the door and slid down, crying in silence. Not his full name, but “Will” the nickname Boris never really cared for. The last thing Will heard before he closed the door was his name being called. Stats: Published: Updated: Words: 18671 Chapters: 12/? Comments: 159 Kudos: 770 Bookmarks: 56 Hits: 12649 Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings.
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